Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships Author: David Schnarch | Language: English | ISBN:
B005V1ZJCW | Format: EPUB
Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships Description
Dr. David goes beyond simply curing sexual dysfunctions to show couples how to grow closer in their marriage. Bringing passion to your love life involves more than mood music and clever techniques. In PASSIONATE MARRIAGE: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships, he makes available to the general public his highly successful and untraditional approach to sex and marital therapy. He reveals how a passionate sex life requires each person to face the anxiety of defining himself/herself while getting closer to their partner, a process he calls differentiation. PASSIONATE MARRIAGE offers explicit discussion of sexual behavior, practical tips, and details of couples going through the people-growing crucibles inherent in emotionally committed relationships. In this respectful, erotic, uplifting, and spiritual guide to sexual and emotional fulfillment, Dr. David seeks to bring out the best in each of us, to help us love on life's terms, and to develop an invigorating adult sexuality.
- File Size: 1085 KB
- Print Length: 448 pages
- Publisher: Beaufort Books; Reprint edition (October 1, 2011)
- Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
- Language: English
- ASIN: B005V1ZJCW
- Text-to-Speech: Enabled
X-Ray:
- Lending: Enabled
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #24,874 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
- #42
in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Psychology & Counseling > Sexuality - #51
in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Relationships > Marriage
- #42
in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Psychology & Counseling > Sexuality - #51
in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Relationships > Marriage
Couples with relationship problems that they cannot fix and do not even really understand may well find this book to be a lifeline, but they should not assume that following the Passionate Marriage approach will make them happy in the end. Dr. Schnarch's thesis (highly simplified) is that married couples often wind up in "emotional gridlock" because, as important differences between them (such as disparate sexual desire) arise in the marriage, they cling to the illusion that their partner can be their everything. In a doomed effort to perpetuate this illusion, they "manage" conflict by doing things that violate their own integrity (e.g. having sex they don't want to have) or by demanding that their partner do things that violate their partner's integrity (e.g. have oral sex when the partner doesn't really like it); the result, ironically, is that they wind up feeling farther apart rather than closer together.
Dr. Schnarch's solution to "emotional gridlock" is to encourage you to maintain your integrity -- i.e. to "hold on to" yourself -- without pushing your spouse away: to be who you really are, and to let your spouse see who you really are, while at the same time letting your spouse know that you love and value your spouse and the relationship. The result is that you feel authentic in the relationship and your partner is given a chance to know and love the "real" you (and vice-versa). Dr. Schnarch calls this process of "holding on to" yourself while simultanesouly "holding on to" your spouse "differentiation.
No better, stronger, and truer book on the real-life, grow-or-close-down processes of marriage and long-term commited relationships than this one (and David Schnarch's more technical "Constructing the Sexual Crucible", written for therapists). When you are ready, or almost ready, to take an honest and self-confronting look at yourself and at life itself --- including those areas where you really don't think you need to look because you've got it all figured out --- when you are ready to quit blaming your partner for every heartbreak, limitation, and shortcoming your life has delivered --- when you are ready to face yourself down so that you can become the better self part of you longs to be --- than this book is your map.
Almost incidentally, you may find that your marriage --- perhaps predictable, perhaps torment-filled, perhaps sexually flat --- may become full of surprises, ravenously and heated sexual, and spiritually, intellectually, emotionally fulfilling. In crisis two years ago, I searched this site for books on marriage and happened onto this one. My much-loved husband of 22 years and I were at a terrible, terrifying marital crossroads neither of us could make sense of. I read readers reviews. I ordered perhaps half a dozen books which seemed promising. This was one.
I can remember the crazy deep panic, trying to find something to latch on to, something that would take me deeper, or make sense. I ordered several books that night, and tore into them eagerly.
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